The Other Blog

Whoa! So today I was thinking about that "other blog" I started, you may know it, Grace upon Grace.  I do such a great job of keeping up with "Days Like This"- that why not create another blog that can be updated every....oh.....6 months....or two years.  Anyway, I read Agents of Sanctification-post 2 of 3- and it was good to my soul.  I mean is that okay? Can you be spiritually uplifted by your own writing? Maybe that's pretentious, but whatever. It was nourishing and made me question if it was me who really wrote it. But that's neither here nor there...

We have been in a season where daddy has been away and I have been bearing the weight of discipline and child rearing to myself.  It's rough. Single mommas I praise you. God does a tremendous work in your heart for you to have the mental energy to make it through the day.
I never wake up before the kiddos. NEVER. I have woken up to "mommy, mommy" for the past 5 months or so--which is sweet music when you've had enough sleep--not so much when you haven't. Can you please sleep past 630 am....pllleeeaase? This momma needs some rest.  That whole homeschooling thing I have done with the boys for a couple of years now-well, its been on the back burner and occasionally I can muster up the energy to get something accomplished that is educational. My big boy can read but will.not.read.a.book.for.me. come on kid. We have been back sliding in the potty training department with our almost three year old. I just don't have the patience for a pee pee pants three year old who knows how to get to the bathroom. God, give me grace. My boys have been working this whole daddy is gone thing and pushing.my.buttons. But don't mention anything about said 'buttons' to them, as it will lead to a host of questions that you cannot tolerate at the time. "What buttons mommy?" "WHAT BUTTONS MOMMY?" "Where are the buttons?"
But I digress. My life is a gaggle without my husband. I am a better woman and mother when the BIG DAWG is around and so, we are ALL looking forward to April 4th when C graduates from OCS. Team West back together again.  Huzzah!

Anyway, back to my original point. Reading the post mentioned above really did my soul good.  I am my wayward children.  I am spiritual bankrupt without Jesus who died in my place.  I am also increasingly thankful that I do not have to be the perfect mother to my children (with C around or in his absence) to be accepted before the Father. I don't have to do five hundred crafts a week, make sure my kids never touch an ounce of gluten, make sure I keep it together at all times, or create masterful works of snack art for my kids (ain't happening). Because I am loved and accepted by my Creator and Sustainer, I can be a better mother.....ahem....Amen!:)

The Bible in 90 days...Ready, Set, GO!

I've desired to read the Bible straight through for a while now, only to get to Numbers and completely ZONK! However, God has been grooming me over the past year. By His grace, there is more discipline in my life, despite the chaos of two little boys under 2 and a half, than ever before. This discipline is what is setting the foundation for accepting the challenge of reading the Bible through in 90 days, with other women around the world via Mom's Toolbox.

My soul will thrive and God will move. Im looking forward to this journey!

Agents of Sanctification

God has been good to me today. Six months ago and I would have considered a day like today a train wreck. But I am thankful for a God that has not left us to hash out life on our own and that instead we have the Holy Spirit guiding, directing, leading, showing us our need for Christ, and revealing where to give thanks. Raising children has been one of the most sanctifying endeavors I have ever experienced (in addition to marriage, of course). The Spirit has been revealing to me more and more of my need for Christ and our Father's infinite, relentless, steadfast love.

My two year old is going through a serious case of the two's. In reality, however, he is evil and (right now) an unredeemed sinner who loves to worship himself and just so happens to be two years old. Not many parents are up for calling their kiddos evil and sinners, but sometimes the truth hurts. Today, Speirs spent the better part of the morning in time out for hitting, pushing the limits, direct disobedience and disrespect. I was exhausted by 9....am, when I received an encouraging email from a fellow mom 1.21er pushing me to the Word of God and prayer-this was refreshing to my weary mind-and to know that someone was interceding on my behalf was encouragement! Much of the same non sense continued on to nap time, but, when I opened my eyes after praying out loud that God would give Speirs restful sleep (among other things), his eyes were peacefully closed. Side note: when I closed my eyes to begin praying he was talking/crying/screaming- The evening ended with Speirs pooping in the bath tub, lapping water from the toilet with his hand to his mouth, and spitting milk onto his PJs- Icing on the cake to an already trying day.

Im not trying to out my son by writing this blog post, I only mean to show that I am my son. I am the wayward child. I love to worship myself. I drink from the toilet instead of the cup of life. I constantly spurn my Father. When he gives me good things, I complain for something better--because after all, I do know best. Because I sin against a holy God, I deserve death and hell. But Christ stood in my place, because he loves me, and there was no other way to reconcile us to God(--we sure didn't have our mess together then and still don't). I hope the Spirit constantly leads me to a place where I see the undeserved favor bestowed upon me- that I can be gracious to my son, patient, loving and kind, showing him compassion and still desiring to give him good things. Most of all though, that I would pray unceasingly for my boys salvation and that they would love Jesus-and be changed!

So Im praising God for revealing to me that today was not a train wreck like it would have been not long ago and instead an exercise in sanctification and a cause for celebration--by way of sleep!

The Address

I Boast No More - Caedmons Call

No more my God, I boast no more.

Of all the duties I have done

I quit the hopes I held before

To trust thy merits of thy Son

Now for the loss I bear His name

What was my gain I count my loss

My former pride I count my shame

And nail my glory to His cross

Yes, and I must, I will esteem

All things for loss but Jesus sake

Oh may my soul be found in Him

And of His righteousness partake, amen, amen

The best obedience of my hands

Dares not appear before Thy throne

But faith can answer Thy demands

By pleading what my Lord has done.

No more my God, I boast no more.

Powerful, Rich.

God's goodness is unbelievable and his steadfast love is more than my mind can begin to comprehend. My flesh walks in pride and the Spirit within me combats with humility; therefore, I cannot boast in anything other than Jesus Christ and His finished work. Christ has won the fight for me. Praise God! Now I can walk in obedience.